Life begins at twenty

I live in a place where it's 
not allowed to cry.

Sometimes, I am wondering if I can call this place home or if I can call the people living in this place my family. When I feel broken and I cry, it's unacceptable. People will hear; they'll think we're doing something bad to you. It's not that big of a deal, you shouldn't cry. Don't make a drama out of it.

I don't understand why I shouldn't cry when I feel like it. I don't understand why I'm always wrong. I don't understand why I should take the blame at all times. I don't understand why the words in my mouth come out differently from how I intend it to be. I don't understand why most of the times, I am the hated child.

I feel like my chest would explode any moment now. I am pained and no one's here to listen to my silent cries.  I just want to cry my heart out; but I can't...because I live under a roof where people cares more of what others would think than what their child feels.