Things I wanna do

In the pursuit of developing a better me and having real, concrete hobbies (except for sleeping and the internet), let me list down a few of the things I want to accomplish in life (short-termly, preferably):

1. Learn to cook
I found an interesting online article on how to spot a girl from a woman a few months back. Something that hit me hard was that a girl take pride on how undomesticated she is while a woman knows her way around the household. This year, I am turning 24 and though most of adults tell me I'm still young to worry about growing old, I really feel that I can only get older each year. I need to learn to cook because I do not only owe this to myself to eat a wonderful and healthy meal each day, but I owe it to my future hubby and kids to provide them a meal that they want to come home to (just like my mom's).

2. Watch more TV (that sparks up imagination and creativity)
To tell you honestly, much of what I know now is because of watching Art Attack, Sesame Street and lots and lots of Japanese Anime. I turned into a communications-slash-art enthusiast because of what I've seen on the media. But somehow, I forgot what it's like to feel that tinge of excitement everytime I hear the opening theme song of a TV show I religiously watch. I want to feel inspired, I want to feel that satisfaction after longing so much for something I have been waiting for.

3. Be a committed gym-goer
It's high-time I get back into shape. Stress from work and life caused me to binge eat, sleep less, and complain a lot. This is very unhealthy. I think that it is much better to put all my energy in something that would make me fit and healthy.

4. Study again
I can only list so much of things I wanna study: graphics design, hiphop, Masters in Development Communication, a second degree on Multimedia Arts, etc., etc. Somehow, it has not come into fruition. But I will make time, seek for more opportunities, and save up so I can have the resources to do this.

As I lay across him, with his fears and doubts boldly and intimately exposed before me, he asked me one simple question that had my mind spiraling, "What are you afraid of?"

I was caught off guard. For one, I wasn't afraid of anything. At that moment, I felt like there is no such thing as vulnerability. I was invincible.

But as he closes his eyes, as he drifted off to sleep, I knew clearly what I was afraid of. Living life without him.