Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Today was super awesome

I knew everything was being weird. People were acting weird, it's as if they were hiding something from me. It's as if they take joy in leaving me behind.

Then, voila, my officemates planned a surprise party for me. It was a hybrid of a farewell, a welcome, and a birthday party. Farewell, because I will be leaving Laos on the 3rd of June. Lao was my home for the last four months. My stay here reminded me of how to be happy with the simplest things. Welcome, because I accepted a six-month contract extension with this company. And birthday party, because the newest Lao staff who cannot speak English quite well yet thought that it was my birthday today.

Before having dinner, I was blessed by the Buddhist monks with a Basi ceremony. Dimsum filled the table for dinner. I was happy. The cake had curly chocolate toppings in tribute to my curly hair. Everyone gave me a message which almost made me cry. The local Lao staff also gave me little notes with really nice messages. Maybe someday soon I will publish some of the notes. They're funny and touching all the same. :)

I'm really bad with details but just to make everything short, I'm happy I got to know these people.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Hell yeah, it's gonna be bloody.


Five more nights and I'll be home. I've been really excited for the past few days, but a part of me now wants to stretched the days longer.

I'm stressed.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Home

One of the people from the office I am working in suddenly cried during lunch time yesterday. No one knew one what happened. Assumptions cluttered in my head but primarily, I thought that perhaps her secret boyfriend broke up with her.

I was wrong.

I realized that I often simplify my view of people. Everyone has different, multiple layers to complete them. It's only yesterday when I found out that she already lost both her parents. Her father died only two years ago and she lives on her own in a huge house. She still studies now and she has to pay for everything. The reason she suddenly cried was she felt very sick yesterday. Knowing there is no one to look after her when she is sick, she felt sorry for herself.

I wonder what it feels like being alone. I always say that I like doing things on my own. I really do, it's less hassle than having to come to a compromise with the group of people I'm with. But at the end of the day, it's still a different feeling coming home to a house filled with people who loves you and who will take you for who you are.

Ten days from now and I will be coming home. Surprisingly, the days feel longer. I am really longing to see my family and friends. I can already imagine the look on my Mom's face. And our dog. I most certainly want to see our dog.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

At the bottom of the food chain

If it's a dog-eat-dog world, I wonder who eats all the dog food.

The world is dirty--literally and figuratively. People plays dirty games every single day. It's true what they say, life outside the academe is so much different. My initial perspective of the world--honest, pure, and true--was already tampered.

I remember when my former boss told me about how he puts his weakest staff on bait when the situation calls for it. He would do it, just so he could escape the blame. I was lucky I wasn't the weakest. I was next to weakest.

It's only after a year when I graduated that I realized that I am at the bottom of the food chain. When I left the university, I brought along its yabang. Then it hit me. No matter how good I am or where I graduated from, I'm still just a small pebble in a huge, huge world.

A few weeks ago, I read a blog about an Atenean who works as an Executive Assistant in a Law Firm. I realized I was very much mayabang. I refused to become an EA, saying that job wasn't from me. But then, today, I realized that everyone has to start from nothing. Going up the food chain might be tedious and hard, but it's something one must do.

However, I still refuse to eat a dog.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Selective forgetfulness

I'm sorry. I still haven't forgotten. I live each day moving forward, but there are times that I miss you so bad and I wish you were here. Year by year, I forget bit by bit. But there would come a time when it would all crash on me--all the memories when we were young until when we semi-grew up.

I remember one sunny day, when we were walking side by side and I asked you if you love me and you said you do, but not as much as you love your Mom or your brother. I thought it was fair, because I also love my family more than I love you. Silly thought, but I remember that day very vividly.

You are still my best friend. And I still miss you. I hope you can read my message, as I do everytime I remember you.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

All sorts of happy

My second publication is almost finished after almost four months. I remember when my mom made me listen to a radio show about a writer who publishes children's books. The writer said that, "Writing is all about re-writing." It took me such a long time to finish a 34 page monograph because my editor, who is also my boss, is very meticulous with details. I could not thank her enough. All my mistakes were corrected and throughout the whole process, I've learned a lot about how to improve my work.

When I handed in my almost-final-draft yesterday, she told me that my layout and design were good. She added that of all the monographs that her company published, mine was very different. I took the word different positively, of course. She said it was very personal unlike the previously published ones. I was smitten. :">

Hihi. I'm happy she did not say it's "not that bad for a second publication" (no pun intended). Honestly, I was afraid of my boss at the beginning of my nine-month writing engagement with her company. Knowing that she's the best friend of my photography and visual design lecturer in the university, I thought that she also possessed the same excellence and meticulousness as he did. Well actually, she does. But I am happy that I learned stuff from her. Once, she told me that, "You don't have to know everything, you just have to surround yourself with people who do best with what they do." My problem is, I know little of maybe almost everything and I find discomfort in surrounding myself with excellent people. Hmmm.

EQOudohak12980IAKdiqouepqwe1029uqdhakdahda :DDD That's how I feel. All sorts of happy.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Beauty that never fades

I am blessed to get to have a trip back to Cambodia. Many people I talked with complained about how dirty the country is, but I have to say it's one of my favorite places on earth. It caught my heart ever since I found out what its people has been through.

Last week, I had the chance to witness the majestic beauty of Angkor Wat, the oldest temple in the world. I cannot help but marvel at its greatness. The intricate carvings on the walls, the detailed facial structures of the statues, everything was just plain awesome.

Plus the night market was awesome, too. :)


Waking up at 5:00 am and eating breakfast with eyes closed were worth it. Never seen sunrise as beautiful as this.


It's summer time, so the man-made lake surrounding the temples somehow dried. I wasn't able to capture the ever popular reflection shot perfectly. 


You can climb these stairs at your own risk. I heard some people already had some accidents because the steps were too steep. The temple in Pakse, Laos were as old as Angkor Wat and the steps up the temple were also as steep but somehow, climbing these stairs appeared more dangerous to me.


This is my Hagardo Versoza shot. My housemates were laughing when I told them how haggard my face was. Ate Mharra, who went to Angkor Wat in 2008, retrieved her pictures and realized that she also looked as Hagardo Versoza as I was.




Some statues had to be reconstructed, but I'm glad I could still see some in its original form.


They were "duck-facing" before it was cool. 




This is where Tomb Raider was shot in. I felt Angelina Jolie's presence all over.




Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The hunt is a lot sweeter than the kill.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Every writer I know has trouble writing. 
-Joseph Heller


I am glad someone retweeted @AdviceToWriters' tweets (If you are a writer, it is a must to follow him on Twitter) on my timeline. Today was one of those days in which I had to pretend I am okay even when I am not. I have a very minimal amount of confidence so I do not need anyone shoving in my face that my skills are just average.


Honestly, it is okay to be critiqued on my writing. I was never a writer. Alright, I used to think I can write. I used to think it came to be naturally. But then, I realized that there were other people who were better than I am.


But then, to be criticized by someone who tagged himself as "having no trouble writing" is a different story. I write, do layout and design, take photos. I am proud of my output. And I just cannot accept someone telling me that my second publication doesn't look bad for a second publication... especially that the way he uses the polygonal lasso tool on Photoshop leaves the image angular.


I am sorry, I just cannot stand people who make themselves appear bigger than they actually are.