I beg you to [let me] travel

When I was a Sophomore in College, we were asked to compare ourselves to one thing. I said "shoes" because "I wanna go places." That was half-true. I could not think of anything else to say at that moment, and "going to places" sounded legit, so I said it.

I was told by my Dad that words are powerful. And I have proof that it is true. Though I nonchalantly pronounced those words, the almighty power above us did not took that as a joke. And early on this year, I said I wanna go out of the box. He did let me get out--more than a thousand miles away.

I am rather thankful that God took my words seriously. I went out there in the Indochina region, clueless about what's in store for me. The quote up there from Henry Rollins is so true. Traveling opens your eyes to many things, let you see things in a different perspective. How I see the world now has humbled me. I now know that there are a lot of things out there for me to discover, for me to see.

I was bitten by the travel bug. If I could, I would travel and see the world.

Never been... anything, actually.

It might be that I have successfully wasted another day at home that led me to be all emotional when the sun disappeared. I always feel this way during sunset. I feel direction-less and sad.

I am always at a lost for words, which is really quite strange considering I get paid for my two to three syllable, simple-constructed words. Which were sometimes constructed in a grammatically incorrect manner. Or oftentimes violate the rules of writing, if there ever were any rules.

I woke up today at around 7am. I know, I was quite surprised I woke up that early, too. Home alone, I watched a 1999 Drew Barrymore movie called "Never Been Kissed." My boss had repeatedly asked me to watch it, saying I can connect to the story. And I somehow did.

Like Josie (Drew's character), I have dreams that I've always want to fulfill but certain inhibitions are pulling me back. I know I have written several times how I think I am incompetent and stuff. I can't help it, doing this always takes away the feeling of carrying a huge stone inside my chest.

There's this scene in the movie when Josie and Sam rode a Ferris wheel together. Sam, being Sam's teacher, tried to comfort her anxieties away by telling her what might have been her future. He said guys would be lining up to her when she grows older. That's exactly what my grandma told me, it never happened. Anyways, Sam also said that some people will always be rattling cages. That's exactly how I feel. I've always felt that I will always be a rattling cage.

I wish I can be more relaxed and less stressed about life.