Desensitized

I am 24 percent done with my work load. Well, I really like looking at my glass half full. Thank you. :)

All along, I thought I'm going to be desensitized of human drama after interviewing people with the same set of questions two to three times a day. Everyone has a story to tell, and now I believe that. Although I must admit, there were times when my thoughts would take me some place else; all thanks to the sweet bitter smell of kapeng barako and the never-ending acoustic music played over and over again in a small coffee shop where I meet people for an hour or so to talk about their lives.

I've never used my eyes, ears, and hands more than I had in the past two weeks of doing this job. Although I already did series of interviews as a student, this time I feel different. Unlike before, when I needed to do interviews, I did it because it is required of me and I just wanted a decent grade. Now, I wanted to come up with good interviews because I want these stories to be told in the best way possible.

On my way home, I'm suddenly reminded of a Korean movie I watched before. It's said there that "A true artist fears a blank canvass." I was thinking of this, except in a writer's point of view. I think a true writer also fears a blank paper. At least, I believe I am afraid of that.

There are times when I ask myself if I could really write something worth a read. The only people who praised me for my writing capabilities are my friends. Well, they are my friends so perhaps they are not counted as people who admire my writing. I am quite hesitant about finishing this project, but I am really hoping that in the end of the story, I'll surpass the fear of an empty paper and maybe, touch people through my writing. Some part of me is excited while the other part is still doubtful. But the good always win over the evil so I know that I'll get past through this and finally, fill my glass full. :)

I feel really lazy writing, though. Ugh. :|