Mothers are special.

I remember having a conversation with a friend about how her parents suck up to her siblings who already work.  I couldn't believe it at first, but then I saw it with my own very eyes. Parents turn into something else when their children became a member of the work force.

Well, I guess except for my Dad. He is very kind, supportive, and understanding. My mom, though, is a different scenario. Not more than a week ago, they thought that I would finally have a full time job. But then, I evaluated that this job wasn't suitable for me. So I declined further training and future employment in this particular company. Back in those days when I had to wake up early for that job, my mom was very enthusiastic about household chores and she would often be concerned of what I eat or wear before going to work. When I got home from work, she would treat me as if I'm the best daughter in the whole world.

Then after I lost that job opportunity, she seemed a bit...I don't know, distant. She's angry at the littlest mistakes I do. When I try to tell her that she's acting that way towards me, she would counterfeit and turn to my dad who would always take her side. My dad would calmly talk to me that I shouldn't treat Mama that way. Thus, I'm always the bad guy in this everyday drama.

Don't take me wrong, I love my mom so much. Much more than I'll ever loved anyone. But I just wish that she could understand me more and accept my decisions wholeheartedly. I mean, I'm a grown up now, and she should just let me decide on what I want to do with my life.

Someday, when I become a mother to my own kids, I won't force them into doing what they don't want to do. I would let them choose the path they want to take. But I won't completely leave them; I would just guide and assist them along the way. I won't do things to unconsciously pressure them. I would look deep into their thoughts and feelings instead of thinking of how they would look like to others. I would love and accept them no matter what.

Someday, I don't want my kids to be like me.