"NO OFFENSE"

I find it really amusing how people can say "No offense" when they are actually about to say something really offensive. So, I was listening to someone whose name I can't reveal. He looked me in the eye and said, "No offense sa mga taga-UP ha," then went on with what he's about to say.

If I remember clearly he stated something along these lines of:

"Alam niyo, pag ako nagja-jogging sa hapon sa UP, makikita mo sa dilim, sa ilalim ng puno, may mga naghahalikan. Oo, sa totoo lang. Minsan nga pareho pang babae. Di ba matatalino kayo mga taga-UP, dapat alam niyo ang tama."

So okay. Just to set the records straight, you wouldn't know us until you're like us.

First of all, YOU ARE AN OUTSIDER. You are free to go in and out of our campus without you hearing anything from us. Well that's mainly because we don't really care about you. And you should probably do the same, mind your own business.

Next, YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY OUTSIDER INSIDE THE CAMPUS. You can't be sure that the people you are referring to in your big story are UPLB students. I don't know if it's just me, but my brother and my friends would also testify to this, we have this eye for knowing people whose same as us in just one sight. But you, outsider, wouldn't know that because, yeah, YOU ARE AN OUTSIDER.

AND YOU SAID THAT WE ARE MATALINO? Oh, yes, we sure are. We're smart enough to get a room to do those stuff.

So please lang, if you can't stomach your fellow outsiders under the fertility tree, you are so not welcome to jog in our campus.

No offense, seriously.