Friday, April 22, 2011

Before I sleep tonight

Have you ever had that experience when you wanted to wake up so bad but it felt as if there were chains strapped both on your hands and feet? I had. And it had been occurring more and more by the day.

My aunt told me that she also experienced these things when she turned eighteen, same as an older cousin I have. But I think they grew out of it already. In my case, it still hasn't gone away even if I'm way passed 18. Two days ago, I took a nap. I slept on one of the long chairs we have at home while my brother sat across me doing something in his computer. In the middle of my sleep, I wanted to wake up but I just couldn't force myself to. I grappled with myself but it was no use--something's keeping me from waking up.

I tried making sounds so my brother could hear me, but it seemed that he never did. It's like I'm locked up inside a really dark place with no hope of coming out. It was scary. And it didn't happen to me just once.

When I finally gave in to the darkness covering me, I slowly got back to reality. Thankfully, I survived that nightmare. I asked my brother if I was making these sounds and he said he heard me, but he thought I was just dreaming.

I could have died. 

Before I close my eyes to sleep tonight, I'll consider it as my last. And if tonight's my last waking moment, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who had been a part of life. If ever I did something wrong, I am sorry for what I did.

Emo much? But no, I don't want to regret anything if this is my one last chance.

So, good night. 

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