Graduation in detail

I wanted my graduation to be a perfect memory to remember, so I focused even on the littlest details of everything. I used to worry about things like getting a dress that would look exactly as another's or falling off the stage due to the wrong pair of shoes. I worried on those things that I forgot looking at the even greater picture.

If you will be graduating soon, here are some of the things I learned from yesterday and might helped you in one of the most memorable yet dreadful day of your life:

1. NEVER WEAR HIGH HEELS unless you've been used to wearing it your whole life. We waited in line for the program to start for more than an hour. When it started, we waited for all the graduates, faculty, and guests to finally arrive before we can finally sit down for ten seconds! Man, that was really hard. I swear my feet almost died.

2. DON'T LET ANYTHING RUIN YOUR DAY. You see, I have been growing my hair for the last few months just so I can have long soft curls for graduation. But I didn't get what I wanted. My mom and I had been arguing about going to the salon or having someone come over our house to fix me up. I knew she just wanted the beautician to come over but she's giving me that, "Ikaw, ikaw ang bahala." That's probably the worst thing someone has to say because I know that it'll eventually backfire into me. And what do I usually do? I would normally reply, "Sige kung ano nalang gusto mo, wala na akong pakialam." When, actually, I knew right then that my hair would grow nuts.

That beautician made two of my cousins hair during their graduation. Guess what, they looked the same. I told my mom, I don't want a hair like that cause it's honestly very ugly. But my mom said, "No, we can just tell her what to do and she'll know how to do it." So I was okay about it. But the moment that that beautician get the curlers out of my hair, it grew shoulder length. That's how curly it is!

My hair is this long when it is in it's natural form. When I curl it myself, it usually is this long:

See, not much has changed, right? But when that beautician laid her hands on my hair, it looked like this:

 

Too  bad I don't know how to rotate it. 

I swear I'm still throwing tantrums now whenever I'm reminded of how awful my hair looked. If I had time, I swear, I could have washed my hair with how my normal hair would look. Right now, I would really kill that B!

I'm sorry. That's a bad thing to say, but it really ruined my day. I wish I'd just go with my guts and fix my hair myself. I wish I'd never let my phlegmatic succumb to my mom's manipulative words. ARGGGGGHHHH! 

But for you, never let that happen. Don't let a thing as small as this ruin the most-awaited day of your uni life. Because I threw tantrums, we left the security pass at home and my dad had to return home to get them. I cried in front of my classmates about this and it ruined my already ugly make-up. It's not a very good memory you know.

But the only thing that salvaged me from this bad thought is the fact that my ex-crush came over and congratulated me. Thank God he didn't say anything about having a bad hair day! :)

3. BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING. Not just for the University Marshall's instructions, but in everything. Lucky me, I suddenly had my period during the ceremony. That's something to remember, though. Graduates couldn't get out of the grounds unless the graduation is over. I texted my mom and dad with the two pesos left on my phone's credits. They responded two hours later.

So, may you be a guy or a girl, be prepared for everything. And I mean everything.

4. TREASURE EVERY MOMENT OF IT. You don't graduate everyday so might as well focus all your energies into it. I never did. My head was headbanging from the first few lines of our speaker's message. His not that bad, I just think it'll keep me awake if he'd just tell us how bright is the future waiting for us.

I think graduation is the perfect time for flowery words. We don't need to hear about good citizenship or whatever. We are graduates facing the uncertainties out there. Maybe it would have been better if speakers would talk about how to get through those uncertainties alive.

I was awaken by the clapping of my fellow graduates. The stranger sitting next to me said, "Buti nalang ate gising ka na." I was embarrassed. Maybe his purpose in life was to embarrass me more, because after a few moments he's already instructing me to sit down or whatever, as if he's my Personal Marshall. I hate that guy.

But good thing there's another guy who made me really happy this day. My favorite photographer, Kuya Gani, went to our graduation just like he promised. He looked for us, IRRI kids, one by one and gave us this very beautiful bracelet. 

He said he specifically looked for the bracelet with "luntian" and "pula" beads. Haha. :)

4. HUG AND GREET EVERYONE because this might be the last time that you can actually could. I never cried during my graduation in high school. I never cried during the graduation rites. But I almost cried when everyone started hugging each other as if they were bidding goodbyes. Honestly, it's sinking into me now. When will be the next time I'll see these friends? They'll go back to their hometown and the chance of me meeting them again would be very low now. I wish I'd never lose them.

My graduation didn't go the way I imagined it (I really hate my hair). But it's good all the same. I guess what matters most is that I'm on the new chapter of my life now. I met great people and experienced a good deal of things. I'll miss being a student. I'll miss everything about LB. If I could turn back time, I probably would. But probably not, because I already had this rare chance of keeping these memories with me for the rest of my life.

I LOVE YOU FRIENDS, I'LL MISS YOU ALL! :)

Graduation!

The day I dreamed of beginning from the first day of class finally arrived. It hasn't sunk into me yet since my feet hurts so baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. I just wanna say that I'm happy! And I'm officially unemployed now! ;)

Eat, Pray, Love...and Sleep

Usually, my family on the paternal side spend the Holy Week together doing some supposedly fun fun fun day. I don't know if it's a good thing, but I spent the last twenty fours hours pigging myself out. All I did was eat and sleep. I didn't wanna go swimming and get a darker complexion than I already have especially that graduation is just a few nights sleep.

The whole time I was there, I was thinking about home. Recently, I've been enjoying my time at home more than ever. It's not that I don't like being with my family, I'm actually a very family-oriented person. My roommates, who are also my female cousins, were teasing me about being too tired the whole time. I practically slept through the day and night. Maybe I was really too tired.

But I'm back home now, and I can't think of anything but sleeping again. I don't know if I'm the only person like this, but I can stay up until early in the morning and wake up at 8am but wouldn't feel sleepy at all. BUT, if you let me sleep at, say 10pm or 12mn and make me wake up at 5am, I would feel sleepy the whole day. My body clock's too messed up.

Too bad I can't sleep this early yet. I still have things to do that I put off for this trip. I have to do this shirt design for a local pageant which was due yesterday. Haha. Lazy me. I do hope there are "pageant brushes" that could be easily downloaded on the net for the ease of my work. AND I have to look for some old psd files from last semester's class. Thinking about these things already makes me feel tired. Sigh.

Guilty Pleasure

My palm is itching but it ain't mean I'm gonna get some dough.

Three days ago, I accompanied my brother on his summer job orientation. After the hot, dreadful afternoon that we had to go through, we indulged ourselves in the very tempting world of street foods. I know it's not good for me, being hospitalized several times due to food-related diseases. But I can't help it. It's just so so good.

So we saw sticks of round deep-fried chicken balls but not the normal ones. They're actually made from real chicken skin which take their tastiness to a whole new notch. Plus! They're only sold for a peso each. So, we tried eating a stick for one peso and decided to go. But after leaving a few steps from the stall, we found ourselves eating some more.

And now I have to pay for the consequences of my guilty pleasure. My palms are so itchy due to skin allergies. I hope it won't get ay worse than it already is...especially in this heat! This is too much to bear.

I'll never eat street food eveeerrrrrr.

Well, until my allergies how subsided. :)

My Earnest Prayer

Holy week is probably my least favorite holiday of all time. I don't know, it makes me feel that things aren't what they're supposed to be. Like for example, the television shows would all be canceled. Business establishments would close and so on. It also makes me feel that we could only stand holiness for a week, which is quite strange if you ask me.

Today, I had to go to church to attend a special service for the occasion. I can remember sitting with our Pastor and our Elders a week ago to plan the said event. Our Pastor suggested that we should do an activity that could remind us of God's goodness in our lives by letting his own Son die on the Cross. He said we should put up a Cross and nail our sins to it. My dad, being both an Elder of the Church and a comedian said, "Hindi ho kaya Pastor after three days ay mabuhay ulit ang kasalanan pagkapako sa krus?" I found it amusing and funny at the same time. The logic is true.

However, the atmosphere at church today was very different. We held the service in our Church grounds. Despite the many mosquitoes around, we managed to still focus on the Word of God. Like what our Pastor said, "Mosquito bites are nothing when compared to sufferings Christ had to go through". We were asked to list down our weaknesses and sins and afterwards make a commitment to overcome those. I wrote a number of sins and weaknesses I had, and one of them is my faltering faith.

All throughout the service, I was earnestly asking God to renew my heart. I don't remember the last time I read a Bible or prayed like a friend to the Lord. I was too embarrassed to say that, but I know that I have to confess this one in order to overcome it. I feel shy to ask for help even from my parents. But the fact that here I am, publicly writing about it is already a huge step.

One of my all time favorite song goes, "You're faith was strong but you needed proof." That's exactly the definition of faith that I have now. I need to see to believe when faith is supposed to be believing in the unseen.

I'll be spending my Saturday and Sunday with my family. On Palm Sunday, we'll be having a sunrise service at our Church as usual. I hope that God would hear my earnest prayers. Right now, I feel like a soulless person and I don't want this to go on anymore. :'(

Before I sleep tonight

Have you ever had that experience when you wanted to wake up so bad but it felt as if there were chains strapped both on your hands and feet? I had. And it had been occurring more and more by the day.

My aunt told me that she also experienced these things when she turned eighteen, same as an older cousin I have. But I think they grew out of it already. In my case, it still hasn't gone away even if I'm way passed 18. Two days ago, I took a nap. I slept on one of the long chairs we have at home while my brother sat across me doing something in his computer. In the middle of my sleep, I wanted to wake up but I just couldn't force myself to. I grappled with myself but it was no use--something's keeping me from waking up.

I tried making sounds so my brother could hear me, but it seemed that he never did. It's like I'm locked up inside a really dark place with no hope of coming out. It was scary. And it didn't happen to me just once.

When I finally gave in to the darkness covering me, I slowly got back to reality. Thankfully, I survived that nightmare. I asked my brother if I was making these sounds and he said he heard me, but he thought I was just dreaming.

I could have died. 

Before I close my eyes to sleep tonight, I'll consider it as my last. And if tonight's my last waking moment, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who had been a part of life. If ever I did something wrong, I am sorry for what I did.

Emo much? But no, I don't want to regret anything if this is my one last chance.

So, good night.