Feeling special

Today, I realized that I am a true blue home body. Just the thought of stepping out of the house makes me feel lazy. But I had to go out buy something for graduation, so I didn't really had much choice.

I went with my mom today, and as far as I could remember, this is the first time in four years that I went shopping with her. I started buying clothes for myself when I was in elementary, so it felt kinda weird today. But hey, it's my graduation, so it's as important to my parents.

I'm also not used to my mom being so you-can-buy-what-you-want. Normally, I buy clothes out of my own money that I kinda feel guilty asking them to buy me stuffs today. See, among all the aspects of life, my parents see education as the most important. They would never give me things during Christmas, nor my birthday. They always give me what I want when I accomplish something at school, all the more now that I graduate from college.

But what happens to me now that I'll be out of school starting on 27th? Lol. I could never be special again.

Well, unless, I study MS. :)

The other side of the story

When you hear other people's side of the story, it widens your perspective. How could I just knew that today? :|

Maybe I need to look deeply into things rather than just focusing on how I perceive them.

I used to hate this girl who always thought that things around her happened because of her. I'm starting to think that I hate her because I'm also like her. Lately, I'm seeing things in her eyes. I thought I was special.

Well, maybe I'm really not.

I thought I'd crush you to pieces, but it was the other way around. But it's good, I've always been strong. It wouldn't take very long until I forget. Now, I know the reason why I got such bad memory. Pain is much easier, easier to bear.

My head thinks faster than my fingers

I didn't do much today, but gosh, I feel tired. Could be the hot weather, could be the emotional turmoil I'm going through. Lol, that sounded too dramatic, ain't it?

I spent my day unproductively again, but good thing I harvested much learnings. I started my day with my mom waking me up at 8am and it's not even a school day. She wanted me to accompany her to the bank for the loan she made, only to found out that she scheduled the release tomorrow morning. Argh, bring back my wasted hours. :(

I was head banging all through the hour I spent waiting for our number to be called. The times I was awake, I spent doing what I do best--observe. And thanks to my undergrad thesis, people's faces became really familiar to me. I saw two of my respondents, although I doubt it if they recognize me. I was also half-hiding myself, because I wasn't really in the mood to socialize.

There's this person who sure is a stand-out from the rest. See, I studied the effects of celebrity-endorsed ads on mothers' preference on milk brands. She kept on insisting that she has a pediatrician and she didn't rely on celebs and ads whatsoever. I was assuming that her family's one of the well-to-do ones in our little town. But surprisingly, she was in line with us in the bank loan. But since she's a cut from the rest, she spoke in English to her daughter in a real loud voice. Why? I don't really know. Was it because she's rich? Was it because she's educated? Was it because she wants to shove in our face that she's different from us?

Maybe. But I'll bet it has something to do with her kid being 'different' from normal kids. I don't know why she did those crazy things, but it's not really impressive. Maybe she doesn't want people to look down on her because of her kid's condition, but it makes me think that it makes their situation worse. Pretending like you're someone you're not won't compensate for the weaknesses you have.

Or maybe I'm just really on emotional turmoil.

Today, I finally did something I've been putting off for days. I used to think to myself that I can do photo-editing and lay out all day without getting tired of it, but I was wrong. I had to force myself to do it today. But it ended out great, and I felt good again. And I realized that it's so much easier to use the magic wand when the picture is raw rather than edited. See, I have to put two pics side by side and the other one was already edited when given to me. Surprisingly, the edges of the edited picture was too straight that if you miss the line, it would be too obvious. The raw picture came out well, though. AND, for typographers out there, there are not a lot of graduation fonts yet. And Helvetica comes for a price. :'(

Wow, talking about that actually made me feel better. Hihi. :))

I'm starting to think that I'm going back to my rebellious stage. My mother told me so, too. Ack. Maybe these are graduation blues. Officially unemployed here! Gossh. I need a job.

Instability

I'm having a personal struggle these days. It could be that stress is crawling out of me due to the life transition that I'll be experiencing in a few days. Lately, my patience had been shorter than usual. If I were emotionally unstable before, I became all the more unstable these days.

Good thing my parents keep up with all my dramas. Today, I had an argument with my Dad. It was petty, but I cried myself to sleep just to forget it. Ugh. I feel totally uncomfortable in my own skin. Y.Y

Stawberries Forever

Today's the start of my bum days. I still have two weeks before my graduation ceremony so that means I have lots of free time to waste. Or be productive in.

Some of my friends have already gone out searching for jobs, but I don't know why but I'm still not "feeling" it. I think I still need a lot of catching up with sleep and eating that I had to stay bum for a couple of weeks more. So for my first day, I woke up at 10am, took a bath, ate lunch, got my toga for grad, went to a tiangge, and tried manicuring my nails.

Yes. I did try putting on nail polish myself.  So a week ago, I saw this featured video in Youtube on a How-to on strawberry designed nails. See, I'm the kind of girl who likes clean and simple looking nails, but I simply couldn't resist trying this design on. Being a total fan of strawberries, I immediately clicked the link and watched it. To my amazement, the tutorial looked so easy and so cute that I decided to buy myself red, green, and white nail polish.

So, I followed every step instructed in the video. I really thought I could pull off designing my nails easily since I've tried painting and drawing several times. But nails are a different issue. Mine completely looked like a mess!

Sorry for the poor quality of photo! :)

Back to where I started

I am an inconsistent writer. Many times I tried starting a blog site, only to close it down the next few minutes. But I do love writing; the problem is I gradually grown scared of it throughout college. Quite insane, huh? Me being a communication student. But I'd like to think that maybe (just maybe) it's high time I go back to what I really loved--writing.

I know many people would argue, but I feel old at twenty. Not in a negative way, though. As much as possible, I want to embrace aging with my two arms stretched. Part of the reasoning why I started blogging again is that I want to remember. I have a memory as stable as a cheesecake and when I'm 80, I want to go back to what I went through.

But I'm still twenty now and i am looking forward to writing the life that's waiting for me out there. :)