Goodbye

Daily Gossip Subscription

I just came back to Laos from Vietnam last Thursday night and I am again leaving for Cambodia tomorrow. Real tight sched. I'm lucky it's sunny today, the clothes I washed earlier will surely dry.

I never thought I'll say this, but being away from home is finally biting me. Maybe because I hardly stay in one place. And it is quite tiring building relationships then having to say goodbye a week after.

Also, there were some stuff happening recently from the people around me that both scares and saddens me. It is hard being yourself when you are constantly being judged for the things you do. It is harder when everything you do is negatively taken by another person. And probably what's hardest is, having that negative thing about you spread to other people like a daily newspaper subscription. I dread gossips.

I only take people as they are. But now, I hate that I have to be wary around everyone and choose the people I trust.

Now, I miss my family and two true friends. /wrist

Don't mess with my things. Or I'll.. Or I'll.

I could not sleep last night. My roommate informed me that she found my pink notebook on her laptop bag, which means that the laptop bag I was using was now being used by someone else. It also means that my other things, documents and flash drive, are placed somewhere I do not know. I swore to God I wanted to fly all the way to Laos just to look for my things.

Of all the things I cannot tolerate, it’s meddling with my things. It is one thing my mom and I also argue about. She hates messy, I live with mess. I know I am one of those unorganized people, but no matter how messy my things are, I know where to find my things. It just sucks big time when people interfere with my own view of order.

I knew it. I really really knew it. A voice inside my head was whispering that I should bring that laptop bag to Vietnam. But I didn't! Now, I have again proven that I should listen to that little Cyrene inside of me. Ffffff.

The first thing I will do when I arrive in Vientiane on the 26^th is throw a fit. Kidding. I will find my suspect and torture him/her to death. Kidding. I will… of course, pray silently that my things are still to be found. So help me God.

This. Is. Hot.

Things fall apart

This is the first time I went to a church in three whole months. I wasn't a Catholic, but my heart was seemingly shouting that it needed some kind of refuge. I went there, but I did not know what to do. People were kneeling in front of the altar, doing the sign of the cross, but these were not the faith that I grew up to.

What if the gods were all up there in heaven? A random thought, I know. I know I'm supposed to think that my God is the only God there is, but I cannot help but think that perhaps other people's faith may be true, too. What if we are all correct in our faith?

I am not doubting my faith, I am just respecting other people's beliefs. A novel I read, "Things Fall Apart", made a huge impact on me. Basically, the story was about how the Africans were stripped off of their "natural faith" when the Europeans came and introduced Christianity. It's just hypocritical that those who spread Christianity were also the ones who turned them into slaves.

Today, I saw many Vietnamese coming to the Catholic Church to pray and worship. I should be happy that somehow they were introduced to the Christian faith, but I also cannot help but feel that they were the Africans in the novel mentioned.

Okay, I am not making any sense.

I'm a little bit of crazy
I'm a little bit of a fool
I'm a little bit of lonely
I'm a little bit of all

Oh I need a cure
Just a little bit of you.