Unhpy

Gone were the days when I'd try to escape all the memories I had of you. It used to hurt, hurt so bad, when I remember even a piece of who you are. I dared not to touch, or even think, of anything that relates to you. But it was so difficult, because everything used to be about you.

Recently, I have been thinking about you again. Not the kind of passive thinking, but voluntarily wanting to think about you. I try to convince myself that it doesn't hurt no more, because I've managed to believe that after more than half a year that being apart from you is the best decision I've made my whole life.

It was and I still believe it is.

But it is also the unhappiest choice I ever made. When I decided to make the final cut of not ever having any sort of connection with you again, it was liberating. I was finally strong enough to walk away from you. But now, as each day pass by, you're getting farther and farther away from me.

I remember that one time when you told me you walk too fast while I go too slow but even when you go ahead of me, there will always be a point where we'll meet. I stopped fantasizing that one day we'll bump into each other and you'll realize I'm the one for you. I'm over the idea that one day we'll see face to face and understand why we never were, no more lies and excuses. But then again, there's a tiny hope in my heart that one day it will come true and you'll think that leaving me was the unhappiest choice you ever made.

You're the only thing I ever loved unconditionally aside from my family, for the arts,travel, and sleep. And this is probably why I could never love again. Because, with a love like that, you still chose to break me.