"It's raining on your sphere today, Ate," says one of my officemate last Monday, while battling through the pressures of finalizing all the 12 annual reports for the group of companies I work in. Lately, it has been storming in my sphere, to be honest. So much work, so much pressure, so much stress.
I am not the kind of person who handles stress very well. I get very irritated when I don't get things done. I feel so uncomfortable that I see it in my dreams sometimes. I may be messy on the outside (I mean my desk) but I have an obsessive-compulsive disorder on the inside.
But last night, as we made our way from a festive dinner with our Lao friends, my former boss and I had a very meaningful talk. I felt so revived and rejuvenated. In the many attempts that I ask her that I want to quit, she finally said I am good to go.
"You have served your purpose, you have accomplished many things for us. If there are better opportunities for you, then go grab it," she said. A tear dropped from my eye as I heard these words. Am I really ready to fly?
In the 23 months that I stayed in the company that I work in, I keep falling in and out of love with my job. There are times that I feel so helpless falling in the abyss of workaholicism. Because I like getting things done, I sometimes sacrifice my own personal time. But when I get the feeling that I have achieved something great in doing what I do, I feel fueled to do so much more.
I think it's getting sunnier in my sphere now. Now, I feel like I wanna do more and accomplish greater things. One more good vibes for today is that the application for a 3-month training I was vying for since last year confirmed the receipt of my application. I was starting to worry that this program was really not for me. It has been more than a week and I still haven't received a confirmation on my application yet. But now, after receiving an email from that university, I finally got a glimpse of hope that I can, maybe, get this.
So yeah, I am one happy human being.
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