At the bottom of the food chain

If it's a dog-eat-dog world, I wonder who eats all the dog food.

The world is dirty--literally and figuratively. People plays dirty games every single day. It's true what they say, life outside the academe is so much different. My initial perspective of the world--honest, pure, and true--was already tampered.

I remember when my former boss told me about how he puts his weakest staff on bait when the situation calls for it. He would do it, just so he could escape the blame. I was lucky I wasn't the weakest. I was next to weakest.

It's only after a year when I graduated that I realized that I am at the bottom of the food chain. When I left the university, I brought along its yabang. Then it hit me. No matter how good I am or where I graduated from, I'm still just a small pebble in a huge, huge world.

A few weeks ago, I read a blog about an Atenean who works as an Executive Assistant in a Law Firm. I realized I was very much mayabang. I refused to become an EA, saying that job wasn't from me. But then, today, I realized that everyone has to start from nothing. Going up the food chain might be tedious and hard, but it's something one must do.

However, I still refuse to eat a dog.

Selective forgetfulness

I'm sorry. I still haven't forgotten. I live each day moving forward, but there are times that I miss you so bad and I wish you were here. Year by year, I forget bit by bit. But there would come a time when it would all crash on me--all the memories when we were young until when we semi-grew up.

I remember one sunny day, when we were walking side by side and I asked you if you love me and you said you do, but not as much as you love your Mom or your brother. I thought it was fair, because I also love my family more than I love you. Silly thought, but I remember that day very vividly.

You are still my best friend. And I still miss you. I hope you can read my message, as I do everytime I remember you.

All sorts of happy

My second publication is almost finished after almost four months. I remember when my mom made me listen to a radio show about a writer who publishes children's books. The writer said that, "Writing is all about re-writing." It took me such a long time to finish a 34 page monograph because my editor, who is also my boss, is very meticulous with details. I could not thank her enough. All my mistakes were corrected and throughout the whole process, I've learned a lot about how to improve my work.

When I handed in my almost-final-draft yesterday, she told me that my layout and design were good. She added that of all the monographs that her company published, mine was very different. I took the word different positively, of course. She said it was very personal unlike the previously published ones. I was smitten. :">

Hihi. I'm happy she did not say it's "not that bad for a second publication" (no pun intended). Honestly, I was afraid of my boss at the beginning of my nine-month writing engagement with her company. Knowing that she's the best friend of my photography and visual design lecturer in the university, I thought that she also possessed the same excellence and meticulousness as he did. Well actually, she does. But I am happy that I learned stuff from her. Once, she told me that, "You don't have to know everything, you just have to surround yourself with people who do best with what they do." My problem is, I know little of maybe almost everything and I find discomfort in surrounding myself with excellent people. Hmmm.

EQOudohak12980IAKdiqouepqwe1029uqdhakdahda :DDD That's how I feel. All sorts of happy.

Beauty that never fades

I am blessed to get to have a trip back to Cambodia. Many people I talked with complained about how dirty the country is, but I have to say it's one of my favorite places on earth. It caught my heart ever since I found out what its people has been through.

Last week, I had the chance to witness the majestic beauty of Angkor Wat, the oldest temple in the world. I cannot help but marvel at its greatness. The intricate carvings on the walls, the detailed facial structures of the statues, everything was just plain awesome.

Plus the night market was awesome, too. :)

Waking up at 5:00 am and eating breakfast with eyes closed were worth it. Never seen sunrise as beautiful as this.

It's summer time, so the man-made lake surrounding the temples somehow dried. I wasn't able to capture the ever popular reflection shot perfectly. 

You can climb these stairs at your own risk. I heard some people already had some accidents because the steps were too steep. The temple in Pakse, Laos were as old as Angkor Wat and the steps up the temple were also as steep but somehow, climbing these stairs appeared more dangerous to me.

This is my Hagardo Versoza shot. My housemates were laughing when I told them how haggard my face was. Ate Mharra, who went to Angkor Wat in 2008, retrieved her pictures and realized that she also looked as Hagardo Versoza as I was.

Some statues had to be reconstructed, but I'm glad I could still see some in its original form.

They were "duck-facing" before it was cool. 

This is where Tomb Raider was shot in. I felt Angelina Jolie's presence all over.

The hunt is a lot sweeter than the kill.

Every writer I know has trouble writing. 

-Joseph Heller

I am glad someone retweeted @AdviceToWriters' tweets (If you are a writer, it is a must to follow him on Twitter) on my timeline. Today was one of those days in which I had to pretend I am okay even when I am not. I have a very minimal amount of confidence so I do not need anyone shoving in my face that my skills are just average.


Honestly, it is okay to be critiqued on my writing. I was never a writer. Alright, I used to think I can write. I used to think it came to be naturally. But then, I realized that there were other people who were better than I am.


But then, to be criticized by someone who tagged himself as "having no trouble writing" is a different story. I write, do layout and design, take photos. I am proud of my output. And I just cannot accept someone telling me that my second publication doesn't look bad for a second publication... especially that the way he uses the polygonal lasso tool on Photoshop leaves the image angular.


I am sorry, I just cannot stand people who make themselves appear bigger than they actually are.