Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Longer Weekend

For the rest of the working force, office starts today. However, that's different for me. I was supposed to have the first day of my field exposure with the Research Department of the company I'll be working in, but when I arrived in the office, they were already off to do some interviews somewhere. Mind you, I wasn't late. I actually arrived at 7:40 AM.

So the personnel politely asked me to go home and report to the office tomorrow morning.

Lucky or unlucky, I was able to do what I love most--take afternoon naps. :)

To be honest, I'm quite nervous as to how this training would go. I wish I'd do good so that this company would hire me. Though I was hesitant if I should take this job or not at first, I think I would want to pursue it already. You know, one of the things I'm really bothered of is not attending a Christmas Party when December comes. I don't know, it's just too sad when December comes and I'm jobless and I don't have a penny to buy gifts for my loved ones.

Speaking of that, September is here, Christmas is near! I've always loved September 1st, it reminds me that Christmas is just a few sleeps ahead. :)

I need a car...

Or a boyfriend with a car.

Dang, my feet hurt so bad. I feel like I lost 5 kg from walking to our new house from the very kanto of our area.

And I hate the tricycle system here. It’s too selfish, it’s always pro-drivers. Gaaaaad. I need 57 years to get used to this.

Anyways, I have a plus one day off from work. Yeps, I am one lucky girl. :)

Monday, August 29, 2011

Goodbye.
Leaving is difficult,
but necessary.


The apartment that we're staying in right now looks like an evacuation center with all the boxes of our packed things. We have been moving from one house to another ever since I was a kid. I thought I was used to moving away, but then, I feel quite sad now that I had to leave this place.

Years ago, I thought my family would be staying in our old house for good. But my mom got sick and she needed to be surrounded with people who can look after her. So we moved to our hometown in an apartment of a family friend. Unfortunately, our family friend's daughter would be marrying someone this year and she will be using this house.

Now that I think about it, I can understand why my parents felt a bit sad when we were asked to leave this house. First of all, there were other tenants of other apartments whom the landlord could ask to leave. However, for some strange reason, we were the family to be evicted. I don't know if the daughter's inheritance is this side of the lot or whatever, but I really can't understand why they chose us.

Second, the landlord knew that the reason why we came home was for my mom to be near her family. My aunt lives two blocks away, so she can just check on my mom anytime. If we had a choice, we would stay in this neighborhood, but there were no available houses for us to occupy.

Third. Jk. I have no third item. I just feel really sad. I would be away from my family yet again. I couldn't meet the friends I made in this place as often as I could. 

Anyways, I'm still grateful for the almost three years we spent in this place.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Quantifying


My family's youngest baby turned one today. She is a blessing to all of us. She is our little bundle of joy! Now that we only have two days to move to a new house, I think I would really miss her to pieces when we're not neighbors anymore. Sadfaise. Ugh, I really wish I could watch her grow up.

Actually, this baby hates me now. Whenever I try to hug or kiss her, she would hit me in the face. When I came home from my training last Friday, I think she have already forgotten about me. But this doesn't make me love her less! Before, I would babysit her every afternoon and she would jump on me whenever she sees me. I kinda feel sad that maybe she won't recognize me anymore when my family's gone to another place.

Anyways, today, while everyone's busy preparing for her birthday party, a thought crossed my mind. I think numbers just make things more complicated for us humans. I'm not saying that because I hate math. Contrary to popular belief, I am actually very good in math.

Ok, I suck in Math.

So I most often do not get the correct amount to pay when my friends and I go out, and I almost failed the most basic algebra in College, but that doesn't make me hate math. Believe it or not, I got a "Best in Math" medal when I was in the 2nd grade in elementary. But that's maybe because all we had to do back then was to add and subtract two digit numbers.

So anyways, I was really thinking that ever since men quantified our lives, it made it more difficult. Just imagine life without numbers--we don't have to worry about time, age gaps, prices, etc. Nobody would be profit-driven. Everyone can fall in love regardless of age difference. Nobody will drown in thoughts of uncertainties of the future. Life would be more simple and plain.

However, this is just my wishful thinking. In reality, people would still see me as a Language-person who sucks in Math. Oh wells.


I'm bored of you.



I love this song. 
Dia's voice makes this rainy nght more comfyyy.
<3

But this song is...quite sad.


Saturday, August 27, 2011


Money is useless in the hands of a fool.

Friday, August 26, 2011

That awkward moment.


"Awkward" might be one of the most overused and misused words recently since Twitter made the phrase "That awkward moment when..." famous. I think we need to redefine what's awkward and what's not, since everyone just made everything awkward. And I mean EVERYTHING.

So here is an example of what I think is awkward:

When you try to be tell a joke and then the air just became awkward because nobody found it funny.

Not awkward:

You try to tell someone that meant something to you, then s/he just replied with "Hahahaha."

Scenario number two is not awkward. It's irritating.

Job training

I am dead tired. But happy. :)

I arrived today from the job training I attended for five days. At first, I thought that I would die of boredom and homesickness, but I actually enjoyed my stay. Now, I wish we could have stayed longer.

I met some awesome people, although I really doubt it if we ever meet again. I do hope that we still will, though. :)

When I was there, I was thinking of lots of things to write when I got home. Now that I'm home, I can't think of anything to write! Haha. I'll write more when I remember. :)

There are two things I like about myself:

One is how easily I appreciate and like something.

And two, how I can easily let go of that thing once I already know it’s owned.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Irony

I had to go home today for the Gawad Parangal for exceptional citizens of my town. Lol. Not that I'm saying that I'm exceptional. ;)

To be honest, I didn't have the energy and will to finish the whole program, so I just sat there for a couple of minutes after I receive my certificate. Almost everything was wrong with the program, except when my name was called and I was handed my certificate and one of the town councilors asked me to stay for a photo op. I felt infinite.

Wow, I'm actually bragging. Ha ha.

I'm just being objective here, though. It could have been a better, more organized program. There were lots of ushers and usherettes but they were kind of useless. My dad wasn't let in at first, because the two tickets given to me was supposedly just for me and one person (which was my mom). After a while, my dad was also able to enter the venue because my mom talked to another officer who apparently got the instruction correct.

The "pararangalans" were asked to occupy the Mayor's office then. I was expecting that someone might orient us on what to do, or where to sit, or whatever. But then, we were just there waiting for the program to start. We were then asked to fall in line...in whatever way we like. Man, that was the most chaotic line I've ever seen. Even kindergarten students can do better!

Then, we entered the venue as chaotic as ever...after the prayer and singing of the national anthem. We didn't know what seats to take because the ushers were kids who are also confused on what to do.

AND THIS IS THE MOST IRONIC PART OF THE EVENING. Since this night was supposed to honor citizens who were inspirations to my hometown's people, I guess they could do better than asking a teenage pregnant girl to sing a song about heartbreak. Man. That's something.

Okay, I am not judging. You know very well that I'm the least to judge people. However, what I'm saying here is it is very inappropriate. I couldn't blame them though, this is the first time they hosted such event. I do hope that next year will be a less chaotic and formal night.

Oh, by the way, the hosts weren't very good too. I'm not a good speaker, but I could say myself that perhaps I might do a better job. Chosss!

Anyways, my training is going well, if you'd like to hear about it. :)

Monday, August 22, 2011

Miss meeeeeeee.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," so they say. I hope you miss me when I'm gone! Well, I'm not really going for good, but this is the first time in more than a month that I'll be away from home. After so many days of being a bum, I have to stretch my muscles to earn some dough. Well, I'm not really after earning money. I am after the experience of having actual co-workers and an actual office. For the time that I spent being jobless, I was working "virtually". Online jobs are good. However, there still something missing. My brother, the socially awkward one, told me I'm becoming more like him by the day.

Anyways, I'm still not sure as to whether I'll have internet access for the time I'll be away. In some angle, I think that's quite a good thing. I realized that I'm too reliant on the internet recently that it kinda is making me dumb. It's like I can't think for myself anymore! So while I am away, I think it would give me time to just be...uhmm...just me. Haha.

Ugh. I have to pack my things now. Byes.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

All my bags are packed,
I'm ready to go.





Not really.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Memories for sale

Time changes everything, even me. I used to be so sentimental and attached to objects that for me held memories of the past. I dislike giving away or throwing away old toys, clothes, books, etc. But today, I finally had the courage to let go of these things who once meant something in my life.

And that's probably because I'm super broke.

This coming week, I have to stay in-house for my job training. I won't have my mom around to fix me food when I'm hungry. I won't have my dad to give me money when I spent all my part-time job salary. I have to stand on my own two feet.

Adding to that, I spent all my money on processing some documents for pre-employment requirements. I don't know where to get money for my allowance next week. When I woke up this morning, I saw the sackful of clothes my mom already packed for our moving to a new house. I haven't mentioned yet, but we're moving to a new house in a week's time. Anyways, I decided to put my clothes on sale on a very low price. That's how desperate I was.

Maybe I wasn't born a business woman, because my garage sale was a flunk. My neighbors bought some of my items but some of them just asked me to just give them away for free. I felt like I'm being a bad neighbor if I refused them so I just said yes. By the end of the day, well, I just got enough money to travel to the location of my training. Not good.

Anyways, I don't have any plans of packing them again and bringing them to our new place. I'd just probably donate them somewhere or give them away for free. Those clothes don't fit me anymore anyways. I just pray that the Good Lord will bless my "generosity". Lol

I'm fine (:






From Ate Kae

Friday, August 19, 2011

Negative


Today is my first time taking a drug test. Tell you, I don't know a lot about drugs--that's maybe why the result of my test was a negative.

Hahahahahahahahahaha. Get it? Drug test? Negative? Lol.

Anyways, I was really nervous about the test today. Not because I have taken drugs before, but because of the instructions I saw in front of the girls' washroom. It was stated there that an administrative staff needs to be there with you while taking your urine sample. At first, a woman was assisting me. Then she went away, then a guy came over and assisted. I was quite uncomfortable, because you know he's a guy and he's a bit..uhmm..attractive too. Haha. But good thing he didn't stay there with me. He just said not to lock the doors while I took my sample. Wheeew. What a reliefffff.

Gaaaaah. I feel tired. My thoughts are all over the place.

By the way, the guy from the Lab looks a lot like him:


Except he is not that skinny. Gaaah. I'm in loveeeee. 

I suddenly remembered, my picture on the test results looks drugged even though I'm not. Hahaha. WTH.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Blame the sedentary lifestyle.


I weigh 53 kilograms already.





Shaaaaaks.
Mag-exercise na ako tuwing umaga.
Tuwing umaga.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Suggestion

It just takes a second for my world to come crumbling down
Oh I'm sure in the distance you can hear that awful sound

How I plead for an answer
Plead for an answer from you
But if you give me and answer that just makes no sense
Then whats the use


So why cant he see from my point of view
And how many seconds in the hours of a day we lose
Was it me or his feelings
Me or his feelings that day
Cause I just stood there in silence
Watched while my world away


And just like that my world was broken
I can barely breathe and now I'm open for suggestions
At the end of the day life's a lesson
My life's a lesson


Oh why can I see it from his point of view?
And how many seconds in the hours will I make him lose?
Oh he said it was him or the answer
It was him or the answer that day
Well I kept shouting out the answer so what was the use anyway?

 
 

Let go.



There's a story from my childhood that I could not seem to forget. I can't remember if my father told me that, or if I heard it over the radio, or I read it from a book. But it is marked inside my head until now.

There was a man who fell off a cliff. He was just holding onto a branch of a tree. He was told by God to let go, but he said, "No, I don't wanna die." But then God said, "You have to trust me, my son." But he still didn't. So, he spent the rest of the night trying his best not to let go of the branch. When the sun rises, he finally found out why God was asking him to let go. He was only a feet away from the ground.

There are some things (and some people) you need to give up on. Sometimes, the only answer is letting go.

So, I'm letting you go. Fly away and never return to my fcking life you asshole.

Hahahaha. Just kidding. :)

You were the branch that I'm holding onto. But I figured today that I shouldn't have hold onto you for a long time. Today, I decided to let go. Hopefully, I fall safely on the ground. :)

Ang mga kaibigan daw ay parang buwan;
Mawawala din balang araw.


Nabasa ko kay Marise na sinulat ni Ces.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Comfort Pillow



Just in case it's not obvious yet, that's a pillow. Haha.
A comfortable looking pillow to be exact. 

Some dreams don't come true

I played an online game called "Draw my Thing" with friends and I think they didn't believe me when I said I aspire to be a graphic artist someday. I actually worked as a graphic artist before. I even design for free if you ask me to. But somehow, someone still told me that "my handwriting is as bad as my drawing." Well, some dreams don't come true.

I drew that picture. I was told that my drawing is as ugly as fuck, that I can't even draw a straight line. I don't like straight lines. Cause, you know, I have astigmatism and even if it's a straight line, I still won't see the difference. Maybe that's the reason why I find it hard to differentiate a straight guy from a gay guy. (Joke)




A friend told me before that in art, everything starts with a straight line. I practiced doing straight lines, but I just couldn't do it. Maybe I should give up my dream.  Maybe this is not my niche in the world. Maybe I'm born to do something else. Something like this:



I just stole photos from the net and put them together and maybe that's illegal but if I had more time I would take the photo myself. But anyways, thanks for the photos, Google. 

To whoever owns those photos, I used them and photoshopped them but no worries, this would just be used for academic purposes. If you're gonna sue me for using them, you should sue someone else because I just did this for a friend who works as a teacher in a private high school who just wants to reward his students for good stewardship of their classroom. :)

Oh, btw, do people also sue for using types? I also just downloaded that type. Thanks, typographic artist or whatever you call people who make font types.

I am natatangi. O yeah!

I received an invitation today to attend an Awards Ceremony for people who are "natatangi" in my town. I've never been "natatangi" before. Lol.

When towns celebrate their feasts in my country, we usually have singing contests, beauty pageants, etc., -- which mostly I won't really qualify. I'm happy that this year, my town would host this Awards Ceremony for normal citizens like College Graduates, Teachers, and Professionals who contributed something special just for doing what they do. Like in my case, I'm being recognized just for being a college graduate. How cool is that.

Honestly, I thought my application would be voided because I didn't follow the appropriate requirements to hand in. Like we were asked to submit a certification of honors received during graduation. I actually didn't receive any honors, but I submitted my certification of being a member of an honor society. Ha Ha Ha. My membership would actually expire in just a few months.

Oh boy. I better shape up for the dress I bought for this. Yes! My money didn't go to waste. :)

Monday, August 15, 2011

Things I learned today

I had my second interview today for a job that I applied for. Remember my post on talking too fast when I'm nervous? Yeah, I got shortlisted despite the fact that I didn't do well in the first one. I was very surprised when I entered the building and saw a familiar face. A college batchmate also applied for the job and got shortlisted as well.

I think I didn't get  the executive assistant post. There were three of us who were said to be the most qualified for the job and between the two girls and me, I think they are way ahead of me. They both live near the main office. The other one has a background on human resource development and the other in publications. They are taller than me. If that matters.

However, the company's HR director told us that they "need" the three of us. They said they already have a placement for us. Hopefully, I get a position in training and development or something like that.

I learned a lot from the HR director today. He's a good guy with lots of good insights.

First, he told us that having a good timing has its perks. Listening to him, I think I had a failed moment a while ago. I interrupted him while he was saying something to another applicant. Ha ha. I'm sorry for being talkative, I just have to speak my thoughts out loud. I'm sure that didn't give him the most proper impression of me. I am actually very reserved and talk only as needed.

He also said that we should value honesty and humility. He said that in this company, we couldn't differentiate who is the boss and who are the staff. This kind of got through to me, because he also mentioned that we shouldn't act proud just because we got a certain degree in a certain university and we possess certain skills and we're like the best employee the company has ever hired. Graduates from my university have this certain "yabang". And I think I am not an exemption. I take pride in my U-ni-ber-si-dad ng Pi-li-pi-nas! Lol.

And this is probably my worst moment of the day. I introduced myself as someone who has passion for work. I was told today that we shouldn't carry our own chairs. Let the quality of your work speak for yourself, he said. Yeah, I agree. I should just probably stick to name, university, age, and address intro.

Today was an okay day. I felt okay. I have a training scheduled a week from now. Alas, I have something to do everyday. But I might not be able to have internet access for two weeks, except for weekends, because we had to do some field work and I should stay with the rest of the trainees in the center. Sounds exciting. I could finally see the world outside my house's fences.

Ow life.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

What to choose

So I tend to have a quick tongue whenever I'm angry and I usually do not mean what I say when that happens. So yeah, I was a bit mad at my parents from hours ago because of judging me for losing my religion.

After hours of solitude aka watching movies that aren't related to my personal drama, I realized that my parents are good parents. They discipline me properly. Today, they seriously talked to me about my career options and they told me that I should decide for my own. They also spoke of their suggestions and I'm still weighing them at the moment.

The way I observed it though, my mom still treats me as a kid. She wants her decisions to be my decisions. In my dad's case, I think he views me as an adult already. While my mom's voice is shaking in anger as she talked to me about religion with job opportunities on the side, my dad remained calm and asked me about my plans in life.

Wow, I feel like an adult already.

Honestly, I'm torn between doing what I want and doing what's practical and convenient. If you were given that choice, what would you choose? Well of course you won't answer my question since nobody really comments on my blog. I don't know which one to pick. I wished my life was scripted and I just needed to act it out.

Stranger

I unintentionally skipped church today and my parents were like I'd go to hell and that I became a backslider. I want to emphasize on "unintentionally" because I never really intended to skip church. My mom's voice was shaking as she told me about how people at church were asking why I missed it and that I had the most photos shown at the presentation at church today and that I wasn't there to give a testimony on the church's anniversary. My brother said my mom and I were like match sticks and gas, we could set anything aflame any time of the day.

Because nobody is listening to my side of my story, I'd like to share my side with you.

My mom said I was still sleeping when they left home. Wrong! I was already awake. It's true that I slept at 3:30 am today but I really tried my best to wake up at 9am. By 10 am, I was already dressed up for church. However, I couldn't find my leggings inside my closet. I looked everywhere, but to no avail.

So, it's true that I have other clothes to wear, but I am that kind of person who's dead set about wearing something for the day. I was also expecting to go to my company's lunch gathering today so I really must wear that.

But then again, I forgot to RSVP to the said lunch gathering. I looked at the email sent to me and realized that my friend, who was bugging me to go with her, had the wrong date in mind. The lunch gathering was next week. By this time, it's already 10:30 am. To be honest, I don't want to arrive in the middle of the Pastor's sermon. Apparently, today was a testimonial day at church.

Okay, while I was reading my side of story, I think it's kind of lame. But I tell you, I didn't plan this to happen. My parents, especially my mom, were very angry as if I really planned not to go. Most Sundays, I do plan some excuses not to go to church, but I overcame them and eventually still go. I am on the verge of backsliding, but I tell you, I am doing my best to fight it. I just need time. The least I need right now are people judging me about how wrong I am and making me feel really unholy.

The church used to be my home. Now, I feel like an outcast. People treat me as if I'm a stranger. I don't feel like I belong anymore. I know I am supposed to go there for the Lord only, but I know the church is also supposed to strengthen fellow brothers and sisters who are weak and poor. When I go there, I feel weaker and poorer. Sorry to say.

I am not closing my doors. I just need to feel God again. I need to feel his real existence. I wish I could. If you pray, I hope you can pray for me. Because right now, I can't even say a word to God. I feel ashamed and unworthy and useless.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Job fairs and Indie films and everything in betweens

I feel like I was beaten by a gang with the pain in my shoulder the time I woke up this morning. Last night, I slept earlier than usual because my feet hurt. But it seems as if the pain from my feet transferred to my left shoulder. I don't know if it has something to do with yesterday, but it seems like it does.

Yesterday, my friends and I went to a Job Fair. We stood in line for 2 hours, it reminded me of my Graduation day. Good thing I changed my mind about wearing high heels or else, I might be still in bed right now because I couldn't get up. I was very tired and sort of hungry but I was happy and for some weird reason, I feel accomplished. Maybe because I was amidst thousands of people who are also driven to look for jobs. I think I really should surround myself with people like them, it revives the dreamer in me.

For the first time since graduation day, I envisioned myself finally doing something worth my time. We sent applications to various companies but there's this company that stood out from the rest. I can see myself working with them and for them. I could see myself moving to a new city, renting a place with my friends, and doing fun stuff when we receive our first salary. Wow, I am actually dreaming again.

But for now, of course, I have to wait until they contact me for interview. Haha.

Yesterday, after the job fair, we went to watch a movie entitled "Ang Babae sa Septic Tank." There's so much fuss about this indie film that I also became interested in watching it. That's the bad thing about super good publicity, it makes someone like me think it is overrated. Or it could just be my bad eyesight that's coming in the way.

I would have never guessed it was  Kean Cipriano who played Rainier in that movie. Now, that's what I call "No acting" acting. He was actually good acting like he wasn't acting at all. Oh, wait, he's like that in real life.
So, maybe he wasn't really acting-acting. You know what I mean.

The end could have ended differently. I mean, it could end like other indie films. You know, an ending that would make you think hard and would make you feel genius because you and your friends would discuss about how it could possibly end and your friends would disagree with your ending but you would defend your side and they would defend theirs and you would just agree to disagree and just say that the filmmaker achieved his objective to make the audience think but deep inside your mind you know your ending was correct. Whew. You know what I mean.

Anyways, maybe that's what they are after. They want to be "different" from other indie films. Arkays. But I think I watched an indie short film similar to this one before. So it also has a movie-in-a-movie kind of theme. It's about college students who want to shoot an indie film in the slums but were faced with the reality of such places. The only difference is, ABSST has Eugene Domingo, Kean Cipriano, JM de Guzman, and Cai (I forgot her last name).

But all throughout the movie, I was thankful I was a Communication student. I understood technical terms for film prod. Hoho. Thanks, teachers. I learned something. :)


Thursday, August 11, 2011





T O M O R R O W
is the day I fear about today.

Anyways, in some weird twist of the universe, I think I'm pretty much lucky.
I can get away with anything.
At least, I'd like to think that.

Too early, but yeah, good night. :)

Will talk more tomorrow

Empty mailbox


Wo bu shiang ni
 :(((((((((((((
Because you can understand Chinese

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

One day millionaire

I think I should stop this bad habit. Everytime I'd get my salary for a month, I would spend it all on things I don't need. Today, I bought clothes and shoes, which I rationalized as a "need" but when I got home, I realized they're just wants.

I told myself I had to save up if I seriously want to look for a job. I need to travel to Manila for interviews and applications so I know I would spend a lot of money on that. However, I failed myself again. All my money is almost spent. Sad face.

However, I realized one thing today. Before, when I buy clothes, I don't need to fit them on because I already know by sight which one fits me. Today, I had to try on several sizes because I am no longer my old size. Dang. I seriously need to lose my unhealthy sleeping pattern and get on a regular exercise routine.

I'll start tonight. I promise myself I'll sleep at exactly 12mn. I'd wake up at 7 or 8 in the morning and exercise. I won't do it for vanity, I'd do it because it's healthy. Well, okay, maybe a bit of vanity. The dress I bought today is kinda too tight and I am planning to wear that if ever I get chosen in my town's Gawad Parangal for college graduates. I hope I get chosen! I don't want that dress wasted. Lol. Jk.

The language of loss








I almost had you.
Almost.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

When a girl says "I'm happy for you" 
most of the time she doesn't mean it. 
What she's trying to say is 
"Why did you choose her over me?"



O, gets mo na.


WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU RIGHT NOW
is the same as what I felt the first time I met you.


A few days ago, I was wandering on the net and found Joel Madden's tumblr. I found it amazing how he's still so much in love with his wife, Nicole Richie, even after having two kids. He would post his wife's pic and say "Humble brag: That's my wife. I'm in love."

Aww.I want a man like that. Someone who'll post my pic on his tumblr and express how much he loves me. I want my own Joel Madden. Well, with lesser tattoos maybe. :)


#Justsaying

On my way to having dinner with my friends, I saw how awful people treat other people. Especially those people whom we consider underdogs in the society. It wasn't a sight to see. If I could, I would have done something. Maybe to slap them on the face or something. But you know me, I'm the blending-in kind of person. I only participate through my thoughts.

So while I was waiting for a tricycle, I saw two kids riding bicycles. They made fun of this mentally challenged person in my community. She's roaming around the streets with dirty clothes, talking to herself. Ten summers ago, this girl was someone I used to play with. But things happened, I don't know what, she suddenly lost her sanity. I felt a tinge of pain while I watched the kids made fun of her. I tried to shoo the kids off. They went away, but I know for sure that they would come back once I'm gone.

While I was sitting inside the jeepney, there's this obese guy who sat across me. His classmates made fun of him, too. They said the jeep was already "tagilid" because of his weight. I felt bad for him. He gave them the dirty finger but they kept on making fun of him. Today, I watched Kung Fu Panda. I remembered Master Shifu and Panda's dialogue on how it was hard for Panda to be him everyday of his life. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought, perhaps, he also felt that way. If I were as hot as Cameron Diaz, I would have helped this guy turn his fate around. I'll do something cool like pretend I'm that guy's girlfriend like Cameron Diaz gave her bra to a bullied student in Bad Teacher.

But then, we passed through a Catholic Church, and then the guy sitting next to the obese guy made the sign of the cross. The obese guy made a "Psssh" sound to mock his religious classmate. Awful. I am not Catholic, but I respect everyone's religion. I actually am struggling spiritually right now, but I still respect those who believe in their own gods.

This made me think that the cycle for mockery just goes on and on if we are rude to one person. He would just pass on the mockery until he finds satisfaction on hurting someone for doing something or just simply being the way he is.

I don't really care much about people's appearance, or belief, or sexual orientation, or whatever. I just dislike judging people based on how they are. I mean, who am I to judge? No one is greater or lesser than the other--we have no right to boast of anything, really. I wish people would think that.

But having people believe in my code of morals is maybe similar to making them be like me. So, whatevs. You do what you want. This whole entry is tagged as #justsaying.

Monday, August 8, 2011

That hateful moment when everyone said you look great today, then there's that one person who would rain on your parade and say something stupid like "You look fat".
Gee. Thanks a lot.




Ta-dah! Like I promised, my bangs ala kitchen shears. Hoho. That is not my all time best shot but it's the best I got from the other 23542 pictures I took of myself. Gah. I hate self portraits on cellphones. >.<

Fugleeey. I need someone to re-do my hair. For free. Hoho. I'm broke as hell.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

I want your hair



I saw this picture today. Her hair is so amazing, I was inspired to cut my own hair! Haha. I was a bit scared that I might cut my bangs too short, so I settled on a side swept one. I want to cut them that short, but I am afraid I might regret it afterward. If I would be well decided tomorrow, I might cut them to that length. :)

If I look good tomorrow, I might take a photo. If not, then you know. 


I wonder how many times an average person lies on a job interview.

I had my first job interview today. Well, not really first. Because I already had experienced it a few times before. I don't know, I just have bad memories of interviews. Like when I was interviewed for my online job, I kept on saying "My nerves got the best of me, sorry." For my internship, my boss gave me a feedback that he didn't want to hire me initially because I didn't have an edgy personality and seemed uninterested. For my summer job, I was crying while telling the allegedly dramatic story of my life. But somehow, I got all those jobs from my sucky interviews. Yes, I am lucky.

I pushed my luck on this one, though. I probably won't get the job. I was given a tip not to say "Yes, I can do it" all the time. But I still nodded my head like a clueless puppy on all the interviewer's questions. "Yes, I can adjust." "Yes, I would try my best." "Yes, I can learn." But in the back of my head, I was asking myself questions like "Can I really adjust? Will I really do my best? Will I learn to do that?"

The funnier thing is, I discovered today that I have a talent in rapping. I was asked to introduce myself and I said something like "IamCyreneIamagraduatefromtheUniversityofthePhilippinesLosBanoswithadegreeinDevelopmentCommunicationblahblahblah." HAHAHAHAHA. When I think about it, it makes me kinda laugh at myself.

Next week, I'm going to try and look for other job opportunities. Hopefully, my feet would turn warmer. I don't wanna get nervous again and do a free rap performance! Lol.